St. Bernard (1090-1153) said that there are four ascending degrees of love:
1) Love of self for self’s sake (a good start).
2) Love of God for self’s sake (most early stage religion).
3) Love of God for God’s own sake (No reward in view. Presumes you have lived experience of God’s goodness).
4) Love of self for God’s sake! (I bet this one surprised you! It did me, but it implies overcoming all resistance to love especially where I have the most contrary evidence–in myself!
I find this analysis truly brilliant and confirming of my own experience. Finally, I can only love MYSELF IN GOD and GOD IN MYSELF, and then ALL the loves are one big and free gift.
Richard Rohr: Unpacking Paradoxes
contemplation in action, as I try to live it…
I’ve come across something somehat similar (it is for sinners who find it hard to believe God actually forgives)—”If God doesn’t exist, then my life and all I’ve done or haven’t done doesn’t make any difference. If God does exist (and if he does, then he must be Love), then I’m forgiven.”
that is a magnificent and encouraging glimpse at what lies ahead, inwardly. where did St Bernard write this out? i’d love to read more.
Number five: Love of God as Self! Yeshua’s prayer comes true in me “that the Father/Mother God and I would become one as Yeshua and the Father/Mother are one”
I did not state my previous post to make the point it is supposed to make -sorry!
It should read: “If God doesn;t exist, then my life and all I’ve done or haven’t done doesn’t make any difference. If God does exist, then I’m forgiven no matter what I’ve done or not done,” (the point being that if God does exist, God must be Love as any other god would be irrelevant to our lives and not worth our attention. Therefore if he exists, I must be forgiven.)
St. Bernard’s idea of the four loves is one of my favourite “mysteries”. Thanks for sharing!
Thank you Fr. Richard! Incredibly simple
analogy, and I am rereading this saying why
did I never put these pieces together?
God is Love!
Stephanie
Love the parenthetical commentary to this post. Some of my own:
For me, even #1 is demanding; #2 seems rudimentary, self-serving, and unnecessary. Number 3 comes a bit easier, but I fear presumptuousness in saying that. Number 4 wraps it all up for me and poses the greatest challenge to me. Really struggling with wrapping my mind (and heart) around this one.
Thank you for the words to chew on.
GM.
GM, ditto for me. Thanks for your heartfelt reply.
Thank you for these wonderful insights on love. I am grateful and blessed. Bill Coffey
It is fascinating what sustains itself over time. St. Bernard’s Four Loves do.
I think an extension of 4 is that we love creation through God’s eyes and for God’s purposes. Everything is from God, for God, and to God.
Richard, most of the time this stuff is too abstract for me…I like the concrete love that I know and feel and can see, my family (wife and children). St. Bernard’s discriptions sound like they’re all in the head and I spend way too much time there. I’m working on expanding my love to others. (As a 5, it’s hard.) I’m working on it…
Gee, isn’t the Vatican kinda down on the whole “self-love” thing at the moment?
(Posted in firm solidarity with Sister Margaret Farley, currently being Inquisited for her scholarly opinions on the sexual ethics of masturbation, among other things. I know, I know, that wasn’t exactly the “love of self” Bernard was referring to…necessarily…but there’s actually some serious food for thought behind the cheap joke).
Love of the blog post…
thanks for the post, Richard.
I read this a few years ago and it startled me, with its deep wisdom. I mentioned it to a friend, about the levels, as if they were linear, and he said “NO! we can often find ourselves back at Level 1.” The 4 levels are like a spiral, we revisit all of them. I liked that.
Very nice. I agree with the idea that “it is better to give than to receive.”This year I had an epiphany in the realization that I cannot properly give unless I know how to truly receive. It has taken much effort for me to fully accept and bathe in God’s unconditional, unsolicited and unwarranted love. Number 4 is harder than it seems. It takes daily practice to internalize God’s love. I pray that each of you attain God’s fully felt presence in you. God Bless
Please help me here!
If we translated St Bernard’s four statements into values and added a few words.. would you agree, add or subtract?
1) Value of self for self’s sake.
Meaning…
Helps me with my self esteem?
2) Value God for self’s sake.
Meaning…
For forgiveness of me?
For giving me a purpose?
3) Value of God for God’s own sake
Meaning…
Gratitude to Him for Him?
4) Value of self for God’s sake!
Meaning…
Gratitude expressed to God for my whole ‘being, contributing or doing?
Finally, (since) I can only value MYSELF IN GOD and GOD IN MYSELF, then ALL the ‘Values’ are one big and free gift.
????
Following on from my previous questions that translated the statements into values with suggested meanings, the impact only works to the extent that I express these values into the lives of others thus fulfilling Jesus’s second greatest command, the ‘golden rule’?
Declaration of interest!
I’m co founder of http://www.valuetheperson.com .. although I believe that, as these are Godly principles, I cant claim that they are ‘mine or ours!! They are all His!
Masterful! Good commentary. What about the Greatest commandment in this?