Paul Tillich, the brilliant Protestant theologian, points out that Jesus says to “the woman who had a bad name in town” (Luke 7:37), “Your sins are forgiven” (47) and “Her sins, her many sins have must been forgiven her or she would not have shown such great love “. He does not say, as most presume, “I forgive you” (Note that she never says a word. She has been silenced by her life experience and only weeps). Somehow this woman “with a bad name in town” had already experienced absolute and divine acceptance! The distinction is important. The woman had already realized a foundational acceptance, a radical forgiveness for who she was beforehand, and that is what allowed her to boldy enter this judgmental company of men. It is not our seeming repentance that leads us to love and change, but it is being absolutely loved despite our inadequacy that leads us to grow, risk, and change. We always put the cart before the horse, for some sad reason. Absolute, divine, and free acceptance is what Jesus came to announce: Love is the deepest law of all Being, he seems to say, and this foundational Love will always lead to further love.
Rejection of who we are–from God, from others, or from ourselves only leads to stronger ego boundaries of self protection–but not the outpouring of vulnerable love that we see in this woman. We are all hostile and resistant toward any rejection, even from God. Thus it is only absolute and radical forgiveness that ever transforms people deeply. Tillich wisely says that we have largely destroyed the healing power of divine forgiveness by making it “because of” instead of “in spite of”! Divine forgiveness is always in spite of our inadequacy–never because of our perfect realizations, repentance, or response. Such grounding, unconditional, and absolute acceptance from God could still change most peoples’ lives! To help people ACCEPT THAT THEY ARE RADICALLY ACCEPTED is the only real task of Christianity. Without it, low self esteem sems to be polluting just about everything.
Richard Rohr: Unpacking Paradoxes
contemplation in action, as I try to live it…
I first experienced a loving God in AA, [a place where one can truly experience radical forgiveness], which led to the beginning of forgiveness of myself and then on to beginning to love and forgive others. Not a quick and easy road it has taken every bit of 30 years and I still feel that I have only just begun and daily fall back to old ways more often than I want to, but I have been changed radically from within and if there are no more changes that would be enough. Thank God for the ability to ‘see’ and ‘hear’ and ‘feel’ His message of love and forgiveness more clearly today… I read all of your blogs… And read all your Daily Meditation thru email…Thanks isn’t enough, but alas words are all I have………
I agree, Judith. In AA there is no one left to “cast the first stone”, and the only “doctrine is love.
Absolutely beautiful! Thank you!!!!
:)
Thank you for this spirit filled post. “without love we are like a noisy clanging bell.”
I don’t disagree but I want to go a step further — that to God there is no “because of” or “in spite of,” there just is stuff that occurs. In our world, with our capacity for pain and suffering through our bodies, there is a meaningful distinction between “because of” and “in spite of,” and we process divine love differently according to this distinction (and so making the distinction I can see is important for us in this world, and I agree that the “in spite of” model is much more helpful), but way out there in the upper reaches of divinity I think it’s all just energy (for want of a better word) without such colorations, kind of like the natural gas without the added odor. That’s how I see God accepting — to God, the distinctions we make and may need to make in our world are not relevant to his kind of understanding. At least, that’s my thought on it at this point, for what it’s worth.
Really powerful stuff.
Thanks. I just blogged about Miroslav Volf’s words on this same idea of forgiveness coming before repentance. This is what makes it “good news”!
“To help people ACCEPT THAT THEY ARE RADICALLY ACCEPTED is the only real task of Christianity.” Indeed, where most truly ‘helping’ lies in giving that radical acceptance to all others even as we faithfully do so to ourselves. THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU, BROTHER RICHARD . . . THANKS BE FOR THE GIFT YOU HAVE BEEN GIVEN TO SHARE
WITH THE WORLD.
mb
WOW!!!!
THANK YOU !!!!!!!! it would have taken me hours to try to express what you so Beautifully put into words. AND then i still KNOW that I could have never come close to your gift!!!! THANK YOU for you are blessed!! J
Richard,
It is good to hear this message. Yes the theme of forgiveness is so pervasive in the gospel text! Unfortunately, it is still an all to common teaching from many priests that forgiveness only comes through the sacrament of Confession (or Reconciliation if you prefer). Then of course we are taught the requirements for a “good confession” – sorrow for sins, repentance, firm purpose of amendment, avoiding the near occasions of sin and performing the penance the priest gives. Then and only then is the absolution valid and sin forgiven. Basically, forgives is achieved by following the recipe, rather than humbly received in spite of myself. I was asked to leave the RCIA team in a Catholic parish because I objected to the pastor and assistant pastor teaching this standard approach. On the other hand I have also known priests like yourself who have “heard the good news.” So I am grateful. I appreciate the value of acknowledging my sins out loud in the presence of another, but I also know that I am forgiven before I ever step into a confessional. Rather than the venue for obtaining forgiveness, the sacrament of Reconciliation should be a celebration of the fact that I am already forgiven – all I need do is remain in relationship and continue the faith journey. If the sacrament was celebrated this way, I might even return to receiving it regularly.
well said. I agree…
a celebration of forgiveness! yes, yes, yes!!!
I always look forward to reading Richard’s blog. It is always a delight.
I remember Richard saying something like this, “There is nothing I can do to make God love me more and nothing I can do to make God love me less .”
I have gained so much self acceptance from this concept that I use it to help me realise the love of God.
I was scared of God as I felt/believed that I had to be “good” before I was worthy !
It was through my “sinning ” that I found the love of God.
A friend gave me his tapes ” Breathing Under Water “.I have been in a Twelve Step Program for over 12 years.It has been a struggle but I now have peace from my addiction and grateful for this “brave,good man” who keeps giving so many people hope, especially in” these times of strife!”
Thank you Richard. Long may you continue your work.!
It has been extremely helpful for me to separate the word “worthy” from the word “worth.” I am not always “worthy” but I am created in the image and likeness of God and I am of “worth.” Accepting and forgiving myself for the times when my choices have not been life-giving is not easy. There is a voice from my childhood religious indoctrination that screams “Shame…Shame on you.” And then there is the anger that comes from blaming and shaming. My twelve step sponsor used to say that when we know better we do better. I would add that we must be vigilent in monitoring our thoughts as that pesky voice can return over and over again.
Wonderful reflection, it will enable to sit awhile and reflect. I am graced by your words. Bill
Good Morning Richard,
What a beautiful day it is! Thank you for the vision that has been before me and Just could not see!! Your hit on the head jolted my awareness to an experience that I am most grateful !
Thank you Thank you and Thank you once again! J
Accomplished forgiveness and radical acceptance.
That’d be why they called it gospel — “good news” — not “or else”, or “you are so going to h*ll.”
Interesting to consider how much “or else” baggage the words “gospel” (now a connotation of “rules” and “truth – or else”) and its Greek counterpart “euangelion” have acquired. Sad irony that when I hear the word “evangelical” these days, my first thought is “uh oh”, not “good news”!
There is reclamation work to be done.
For those, like myself, who remain believers of the sacrament of Reconciliation, I have evolved my belief that it never matters who the confessor is, or even what advise he gives. The confessor is The Face Of Christ, the priest might change. The Face of Christ remains, and is for me the face of eternal Love.
I would like to subscribe to your posts. Thank you!
Mark, I signed you up to receive all of Fr. Richard’s blog postings. Peace, Cece
Richard:
Thank you, and blessing to you.
Nice one. I remember this statement which seems to capture the entire essence of God. “A loving heart is the truest wisdom”. Even in day to day dealings with my own people I always try recalling and realize that first comes love and rest follows…and not the other way around.
Richard!
I want to thank you for writing this text!
God bless
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I have been having trouble with forgiving one specific person. Oddly, after just speaking of it, I find this. I am still having trouble, and have no idea why. I am a forgiving person, and I understand forgiveness. I want it to be a true forgiveness in my heart so that it will no longer be able to hurt me. I guess the betrayal I feel from this person I’ve known all my life and considered family, abandoned my family when we needed the most help ever. He is still out there everyday working against us. I have prayed and I have listened, but how can I truly forgive him in my heart? Any suggestions or specific prayers?
It may be that you first need to forgive yourself for not being able to forgive. I don’t know where I first heard this but I believe we need to “embrace our own sinfulness” and accept ourselves as God does. Accept that you are trying to forgive but just can’t seem to do it right now. This humble awareness and acceptance will allow the Spirit to lead you into forgiveness. Recall that in the parable of the Pharisee and the Tax Collector who went to the temple to pray, Jesus says the Tax Collector went home “justified,” i.e. in right-relationship with God.
For me, it helps to separate out the different strands when I am in such a situation: my damage, my fears, what the other person did, my perception of the other person (and there’s also, of course, my own contribution to the situation — my needs, my trust, etc.). Then I try to address the components separately. As to my damage and fears, there may be a “to do” list, emotional healing, an accepting of a maybe unwanted challenge in my life (and getting my needs met some other way and accepting the consequences of trust). When I deal with what the other person did, I may find myself in a new situation (or even read about one) in which I may not exactly do what the other person did, but I gain some information so that I can understand better what might lie behind the behavior. And that often leads me to see the person in question differently. I often see through better to their limitations, which perhaps arise out of their own damage (for example, with one person, it suddenly occurred to me that given his background, he might actually have been physically sexually abused as a child, and that certainly his relationship with alcohol indicated a struggling with issues, and that I could see some of his very damaging behavior as self-protective maladaptive coping devices that may have gotten him through other situations). That helps me then find my compassion. I generally try to not continue to cross paths with the person, because I have trouble fielding their behaviors, but something loosens within me during the process I’ve described, and almost like an umbilical cord after birth, the painful connection withers away, and I feel liberated in some way. The “forgiveness” for me comes through the seeing the person as they really are, I think, and believing that they really are doing the best that they can, given who they are. Sometimes afterwards I find someone else is playing their role in my life and the interaction goes better with them. Hope this helps, if it doesn’t please ignore.
For what it’s worth, I hear you about people not helping when you need it most, people you thought you could reasonably expect to — someone once said to me (this had to do with the aftermath of becoming a widow), “Well, that apparently is not the person you got in that role in your life.” That helped me shift perspective. With some people, however, I know it’s more difficult for me to let go of expectations than with others.